My Worth and My Degree- Is it Worth it?

So it’s late as I write this, precisely 12:28 am as I sip this wine called “Blush”. I am nearing the end of my undergraduate career in the next 2 weeks, which brings me to the topic of my worth in relation to earning a college degree…

Yall, I’m trying to be transparent, this is hard to write as I am in a vulnerable spot (black women can vulnerable right?). I honestly feel as if I should be happier than I am, that I am almost done with college, but yet I’m stuck in limbo about finding a job and hell, finding my damn self. For the past year, I have reflected on this college journey and wondered if it was worth the fighting financial aid, parents, begging professors to bump up your grade so you don’t lose your financial aid so that you don’t get kicked out of school. Who the hell was supposed to tell me this shit would happen? Who would tell me that I had mental breakdown and ended up in the psych ward of the hospital my sophomore year? Who would tell me that I would flunk out, and have to sit out one semester to reevaluate my damn life. Who would tell me that my GPA is the gateway to a better job for a better life? Who?

I know, that’s a lot to unload, but I am tired yall. I’m trying to understand if college was worth all of this strife. This certainly is not to sway anyone from pursuing a higher education, but more to share with you all what comes with it. You will sacrifice sleep, sanity, pursuing your real passions…I say that last part because I had to hold off on what I truly wanted to do, and to be honest I don’t need a degree to live in my creativity. I don’t. What you’re born to do is not something that needs to be constantly taught in a classroom, it’s something that is within you, something that is meant to be shared. Can I say that I don’t like school that much lol?

Anyway guys and gals, that’s my millennial rant.This is what I’m currently going through. Will I get a great job, that pays me well to live comfortably? Will I get this degree that somehow shows my worth? Will I overcome this hurdle? I’m still growing and developing, so I do not have all the answers. I just want to make it across the stage.

Love ya babes.

 

 

clip-art-graduation-cap-2016

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4 thoughts on “My Worth and My Degree- Is it Worth it?

  1. I can relate on so many levels. I felt this way for a minute; Several years even after I graduated. After everything though, I could see the value was actually in the college experience more than the actual degree. My interactions with various individuals and situations that you probably won’t get to experience outside of college taught me more about myself than my classes taught me about working in my field. And knowing yourself is what makes the most significant difference between success and failure. Good luck Jazzy. I’m certain you will discover where the value in your college education lies.

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  2. Aww, Jasmine. I still may not totally be “there”
    yet, but it’s worth it! It just proves that you are a strong, dedicated and highly intelligent woman. You’ve demonstrated strength and endurance, despite circumstance and the ability to not only pick yourself up after you fall, but go back and re-do a few steps…THEN STILL KEEP GOING! I am so happy for you and your future. It may feel like a mess now, but you should now know that
    patience is key. What the Lord has planned for you, will come. I know that you’re tired and that this has been a journey, but we must always keep our Faith and keep working hard. He’ll take you where you are destined to go, without a doubt. You have not come this far, to not go further. 😀 Congrats!! YOU DID IT! Celebrate your moment, honey and leave your worries in His hands. You deserve it. 👍🏼

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  3. Will I get this degree that somehow shows my worth?

    Your worth does not depend on that degree. It may open doors quicker than if you didn’t have it, but without first fully realizing the truth of who you are without attachment to titles, status and things and embracing who you were created to be, that degree won’t even be enough.

    Will I get a great job, that pays me well to live comfortably?

    If you don’t get that great job, create one for yourself. You don’t need anyone to grant you an opportunity to be who you were created to be and do what you were created to do. I know you will find a way. I don’t know you, but from reading your blog, I can tell that that is who you are.

    Will I overcome this hurdle?

    Did you make it to the end of your college career despite your temporary mental breakdown? Did you move past that horrible date and have the courage and self confidence to bounce back and realize that what he was feeling/saying about you was not the truth about who you are? Girl, you got this!

    You’re simply learning to fly. You will hit a few branches on the way down and it will hurt, but once you learn to properly use your wings, you will begin to fly and soar above the trees. All these experiences and hurdles are preparing you to become the woman that you are meant to be. As Q33n Victoria said, the real value is in the journey. One day you will look back on all of this and laugh the same way you did with your date from hell. 🙂

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    • Miss S, thank you so much for your kind words. I do think you understand how much they were needed today. This journey that I’m on is rough and unfortunately has continued to get even rougher. But I’m hopeful of better things to come. I pray that you are on a constant journey of good, healthy living and wish you peace!

      And as for the date from hell, gosh karma is one bad b****. (Sorry about the language, but yea).

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