Dating on The Bus: My Experience

 

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It’s 6:33 pm and I’m getting ready for a date…

With some anxiety about writing this post, I’m a little embarrassed to write it but need to. As a 23 year old senior in college  (I graduate in May) I ride the bus for many things; to commute to school, grocery shop, visit my favorite coffee shops etc. And I also use it to date, for the most part.

I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m even writing about this(there’s more important things happening in the world ), but living in Houston, TX you pretty much need a car to go anywhere and if you don’t have one, people tend to change their attitudes towards you. They’ll feel sorry for you, or think you’re not well equipped to living a full life (smdh), which is why dating for me has been a rough patch. I also get those looks like “Oh poor thing she has to ride the bus”. Whenever I get asked out for drinks or something  (yes guys do ask me out surprisingly lol) I have to consider how they will feel about not having a car. I never want a guy to feel as if I’m an obligation to date, that there’s difficulty dating me. I know I might sound like I’m venting my first world problems, but this effects my dating life so I feel the need to address it.

Have you all ever heard or even had conversations about NEVER dating a guy without a car? I sometimes wonder if guys think the same thing, but then it depends on the situation and where you live. I’m sure the folks in New York City don’t really think about this, especially since they can pretty much walk everywhere  (I literally walked the whole time I visited NY). I have this hang up that I should have my whole life together by now which includes having a car, and I don’t. Living in Texas cars represent prestige and wealth, so if you don’t have one, you’re obviously not with the “in-crowd” (totally being sarcastic here).

Yes I know there’s Uber, but I’m on what milienials call “Baller on a Budget” and Houston is too big for me to be riding ubers up and down these streets. I’m OK with riding the bus to go on dates(I don’t want to be a complete hermit). I did once and ended up dating the guy for 6 months, so my dating life isn’t as terrible but I would love for it to pick up a little more, meaning going out more despite my lack of having a car and building connections with the opposite sex.

I remember the first time I went on a date and took the bus, and the guy found out (dun dun dunnnn) he was like “Oh you rode the bus?”

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Seeing his face I froze in fear, I was embarrassed that let myself do this for the sake of enjoying life and companionship. What kind of person am I ?! Well we actually ended up having a conversation about how he used to ride public transportation as well, and our frustrations with it.

The dating life these days is so tricky and makes cringe sometimes, making yourself vulnerable to the chopping block of people’s preconceived thoughts, is scary, it’s overwhelming but it’s something that I can get through if I want to enjoy what life has for me. I will get over how people view me since I ride bus.

Thanks loves for reading my thoughts, tell me about your dating experiences, maybe we can help each other out!

 

 

 

 

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Staying Connected: Blog Collabo Day Recap

 

 

Today the Houston African American Bloggers hosted a Blogger Collabo Day, for us to connect and work on our blog goals for the year. The purpose of this work day was to not only meet other bloggers, but get feedback on your own blog and bounce ideas off of each other. I learned a great deal on valuable information, but more so learned the importance of staying connected.

Blogging can be an isolating activity, and sometimes you feel as if your voice is not being heard. But today opened me up to valuing that in order to succeed at anything in life, you need to connect with others either in a similar field as you or just someone you can vibe great with. Throughout this work meeting I was asked about my goals for the year, which forced me to speak them out loud. Doing that, forced me to focus on what I want to do in life and put into the universe that I’m going to do whatever I put my mind to. See, that’s the thing about connecting with others, it literally forces you to speak your mind (so there’s no awkward conversation lol) and have confidence in your goals. I spoke with a young lady who is a brand consultant  (which I’ve prayed about meeting) about my plans after graduation. Everytime I get asked that question, anxiety starts to flow through my head because I don’t 100% know what to do. She also shared with me that my major is untraditional, so I would have to start connecting with people in different fashion groups, meaning I would have to get off my ass (lol) and get to networking.

Even though I went into receive blog information (and I did, good stuff too) I came out of the work day feeling inspired and confident in what I’m doing with my life, especially in regards to blogging. I hope that whatever you all choose to do, you feel confident in your choice. And don’t forget to CONNECT! There are actually super nice people out there who want to help you get to your goals, you just have to open your mouth and ask.

Here are a few pictures from today’s event! Thanks for reading!


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Everyone working hard

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Food Catered by Pollo Tropical

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The Venue was Adobe style

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Classic Tips for the Curvy Girl

Getting dressed for the day can be a total struggle. Sometimes we all just have “those days:” When nothing seems to lay right, when every color seems to wash out your skintone, when even trusty favorites fail you. But that’s no reason to give up. We all have days that it seems the fashion gods are working diligently against us. Although it’s difficult to overcome the discouragement set in place by many outfits gone wrong, there is a glimmer of hope to be had.

Do you ever wonder how fashion stylists are so quick to piece together a figure-flattering outfit for their clients with no signs of hardship? Sure, they’re experts in the field, but there is also one other important factor in their process. They know what they’re looking for. For each body type, there is a tried-and-true set of style rules sure to work in just about every situation. And after researching what some of these tips are for plus-size fashion, I’ve found my own set of “rules” to keep in mind while dressing for just about any occasion.

Here’s what I learned:

Find your shape. Chances are you’re aware that different women are categorized within different “shape” groups. To name some of the most common: There are the apples, who carry most of their weight around their midsection; there are the pears, who are widest at the hips; and there are the hourglass figures, featuring a defined waist and an equal breast-to-hip ratio. Once you determine your shape, it becomes much easier to dress in a way that accentuates your strongest assets and mask those you’re self-conscious about. I like this simple guide on WhoWhatWear for finding your shape in a couple simple steps.

Use tailored pieces to your advantage. Some women favor baggier clothing as opposed to skin-tight options. If this is your preferred style of dressing, consider bringing shape to your outfit with tailored add-ons. Smart pieces like blazers and structured coats bring new lines to otherwise shapeless garments. And instead of the fabric clinging to your body, your figure is given a silhouette with the toppers you choose. Street style photos are great for browsing unconventional clothes pairings that inspire. Lyst’s articles usually include street style pictures that can be used to imagine your own next outfit pairing.

Loud accessories are your friend. There’s no sense in hiding behind your clothing. Plus-size fashion has come an incredibly long way, and now more than ever, loud and proud styles are the ideal statement in the curvy girl world. Being proud of your shapely figure is the first step to rocking a gorgeous new outfit.

The next step is to dress strategically. On the topic of accessories,  Marie Claire gives a great point, “A showstopping necklace draws the eye up—ideal for balancing out your skinny jeans, white trousers, or patterned pants.” Using bright jewelry, scarves and shoes are all tactics for bringing bold, flattering style to your outfit, breaking up the colors and providing different focal points.

Tailored Vests are Classics!

Classic Tailored Vests are Great for any Season

 

One of my favorite maxi dresses!

Maxi Dresses are my Go-To’s

This is a guest post by Janine Collins, a freelance fashion writer currently residing in Nashville, TN. When she’s not spending time with her boyfriend or researching for her next piece, she enjoys creating new recipes and going on runs with her dog Charlie.

Thanks for reading!