It’s 6:33 pm and I’m getting ready for a date…
With some anxiety about writing this post, I’m a little embarrassed to write it but need to. As a 23 year old senior in college (I graduate in May) I ride the bus for many things; to commute to school, grocery shop, visit my favorite coffee shops etc. And I also use it to date, for the most part.
I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m even writing about this(there’s more important things happening in the world ), but living in Houston, TX you pretty much need a car to go anywhere and if you don’t have one, people tend to change their attitudes towards you. They’ll feel sorry for you, or think you’re not well equipped to living a full life (smdh), which is why dating for me has been a rough patch. I also get those looks like “Oh poor thing she has to ride the bus”. Whenever I get asked out for drinks or something (yes guys do ask me out surprisingly lol) I have to consider how they will feel about not having a car. I never want a guy to feel as if I’m an obligation to date, that there’s difficulty dating me. I know I might sound like I’m venting my first world problems, but this effects my dating life so I feel the need to address it.
Have you all ever heard or even had conversations about NEVER dating a guy without a car? I sometimes wonder if guys think the same thing, but then it depends on the situation and where you live. I’m sure the folks in New York City don’t really think about this, especially since they can pretty much walk everywhere (I literally walked the whole time I visited NY). I have this hang up that I should have my whole life together by now which includes having a car, and I don’t. Living in Texas cars represent prestige and wealth, so if you don’t have one, you’re obviously not with the “in-crowd” (totally being sarcastic here).
Yes I know there’s Uber, but I’m on what milienials call “Baller on a Budget” and Houston is too big for me to be riding ubers up and down these streets. I’m OK with riding the bus to go on dates(I don’t want to be a complete hermit). I did once and ended up dating the guy for 6 months, so my dating life isn’t as terrible but I would love for it to pick up a little more, meaning going out more despite my lack of having a car and building connections with the opposite sex.
I remember the first time I went on a date and took the bus, and the guy found out (dun dun dunnnn) he was like “Oh you rode the bus?”
Seeing his face I froze in fear, I was embarrassed that let myself do this for the sake of enjoying life and companionship. What kind of person am I ?! Well we actually ended up having a conversation about how he used to ride public transportation as well, and our frustrations with it.
The dating life these days is so tricky and makes cringe sometimes, making yourself vulnerable to the chopping block of people’s preconceived thoughts, is scary, it’s overwhelming but it’s something that I can get through if I want to enjoy what life has for me. I will get over how people view me since I ride bus.
Thanks loves for reading my thoughts, tell me about your dating experiences, maybe we can help each other out!